Shopping for clothes is a constant reminder that my body isn’t what it used to be: small, capable of wearing anything and looking fabulous, flat stomach, no stretch marks, fewer wobbly bits…
I have resigned myself to a size large, and it fits me comfortably. I don’t like that big “L” on my clothes. I prefer the “M”…I was comfortable as a medium.
But I’m not going to grab a medium just because that’s what I think I ought to be. I can’t will myself into a medium sized top. I have to work-out to get there. So I decided to try on some new fitness clothes – something cute, but in my size, that I would be excited to wear and would motivate me to go to the gym again.
I grabbed up every “L” sized fitness top with control panels to slim my flabby waistline down while I work out and comfortable cotton capris of various colors and variations.
Now, I know I haven’t gotten any bigger. In fact, I’ve lost weight since the last time I went shopping. But seriously, putting those work-out tops on was a work-out in and of itself! If you’ve ever tried to squeeze yourself into anything that no longer fits, you know what I mean. Trying to get those damn tops past my breasts gave my arms a work-out I won’t soon forget.
Once they were on, I saw something else – evidence that every single top is sized too damn large. The regular large tops fit perfectly, but all the work-out tops (various brand names, by the way) were all too small, pinched in all the wrong places, were too tight just about everywhere and accentuated every single flabby roll I have.
My response to this: ” Come on, people! I already know that I need to lose weight. I’m trying on fitness clothes. You don’t need to convince me that I need to work-out!”
My friend I was shopping with chuckled in the next dressing room stall. She agreed with me, and she was having the same problem as I was.
It was only the fitness clothes, and only the tops. We had both tried on large dressy tops and t-shirts that fit perfectly, but those damn fitness tops were tight and made us look absolutely disgusting. It wasn’t a very good motivator to get fit and lose weight. All I wanted after that was a damn ice cream sandwich and some lazy time on the couch for a woe-is-me session of “When did I get so fat?!”
All I wanted was some comfortable work-out clothes that didn’t make me look pregnant while I was working out. Well, I got my wish. Instead of looking pregnant, I looked disgustingly fat. Thank you, fitness clothing industry. You suck!
I did manage to buy one pair of cotton capris that I can wear while working out and for just everyday use, and a comfortable, flattering Calvin Klein t-shirt designed for work-outs. The shopping trip wasn’t a total waste, and I have a new fitness outfit, which is great. I’m not sure that I’m at all motivated to go back to the gym. All I want is a mocha frappe and an episode of “Army Wives” to drown my sorrows.
Do you think that clothing sizes are getting smaller? – Meaning, are larges smaller than they used to be?
I have an extremely hard time finding clothes. I was happy in a 2x, but that didn’t cut it after 2 pregnancies. I’ve always been big, but I was comfortable in my own skin. I am losing weight again slowly, but being bigger than you usually are can take a toll on your self esteem.
So I just wanted to tell you, after reading your article, that I just want to give you a big hug and tell you you’re beautiful just the way you are. In fact I am sitting here blubbering reading about your struggles cause they are much the same as mine.
The size of the clothes doesn’t matter just wear what fits. And instead of M or L it’s I love myself the way I am (needing small improvements of course) but on a whole I like the person I am day to day. And I love you for the person you are too.